Archive for October, 2012

FF #16 – 15 min – Deus Ex Machina

Attempt 1:
 
The bounty-hunter’s right trigger finger twitched however slightly against the cool steel of his weapon as he maintained eye contact with the tall ranger before him.  He tried to lick his extremely dry lips with a parched tongue but tasted only the salty sweat that beaded on his stubbly upper lip.  He flicked his eyes to his left to ensure that his wife’s rifle was also trained on their intended target.  It shone steadily in what little light came from dirty windows overhead.   The silence around them was deafening.
 
“Whatever they’re paying you to take me in, I’ll double it,” the ranger spoke, his calm voice belying the agitation he had to feel.  He had both handguns aimed at Xaon and Elizabeth and his eyes told the story of his panic.   A very faint quiver traveled to the end of his taut arms and both barrels wavered.  His lips moved in silent formation of words and then sealed themselves.
 
“Double it?”  Xaon rasped, almost chuckling to himself.  “Sirrah, no-one is paying us to ‘take you in.’ This is just a personal visit.”
 
A blinding light engulfed them all and the husband-wife pair found themselves standing alone in the warehouse.  “He’s… gone?” Xaon swore.  “Are you shitting me?” 
 
“Teleported out,” Elizabeth dropped to one knee and began disassembling her rifle.  “That’s new.”
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FF#15 – 15 min. – No Inner Editor

The prompt: Turn off the inner editor!

“We’re just two sleepy people tonight,” Elisa murmured, snuggling into Jake’s shoulder.  Jake nodded and shifted so that his cheek rested more comfortably on her head.  “I can’t seem to wake up.”

“Too much in love to say goodnight,” he agreed.  “But I’m out of things to say.”

“This night has been incredible.  I didn’t think Paris was actually this romantic.  Thank you.”

Silence settled over the pair as the light from the full moon overhead embraced them with its proxy, the warm summer air of Paris.  The rain from earlier in the afternoon had gently washed the sky clean of its usual pollution and dampened the old buildings so that they were now veritably glowing.  Glistening beside the pair, an empty bottle of wine and two mostly-empty glasses told a story of newlywed toasts and fresh strawberries from the open market.  Around their silvery rims echoed the tinkle of silverware and the sounds of sweet laughter from the bride and her husband.

Elisa and Jake drowsed for a long time on the stone balcony of their historic hotel until finally they shook away their stupor long enough to enter their room and curl together for the first time in a luxurious bed.  Tomorrow their honeymoon would continue, but tonight they were just two sleepy people, too much in love to say goodnight.

FF #14 – 15 min – Confession

I give myself permission to be a person.

Today I am supposed to write a confession.  I am supposed to raw and real and laid bare.

Today I confess that I am a loose cannon at home with an incredibly short fuse.   I confess that I have not treated my husband the way I am supposed to.  I confess that I am a selfish person and I hate that about myself.

I didn’t take D’s wishes into consideration when I bought Wimbledon—I thought he’d grow to love it, to appreciate having a home instead of just a stupid, dirty apartment in a low-income area.  I was thinking of K (who had not yet been born) as well.  As a mommy-to-be, I knew best and I forced it down D’s throat.  Then I got upset when he didn’t want to help out around the house as much.

I confess that I got angry and upset more often than was necessary.  I confess that I allowed creeping doubts and irritations to take root in my heart and fester there.  I confess that it turned my tongue ugly and drove away my smile and my joy.  I confess that I have been sharp and occasionally downright mean to my husband.

I confess that I don’t want to work anymore because I feel like I’ve done enough.  I hate starting over.  I hate orientation and learning new methods.  I confess that I cannot imagine a job where I would be happy unless it involved working from home while I watched K.  [ I confess that I am a hypocrite; because that is one thing I faulted my MIL for—working from home to watch her kids at a much-decreased rate of pay.  She couldn’t provide for them properly.  Her house was not run like my house was, and that made it a Bad Place. ]

I confess that I have a negative attitude and that has been something that has always been a sour part of me.  I can remember being a child and my parents telling me that my attitude was bad and I needed to get it in gear.  I never understood how to do that.  What, just pick something good about a situation and focus on that?  What about the 1200 other shitty parts to this deal?  How is one good thing supposed to overcome the 1200?

I confess that I have two faces and that I have a dense guard up, even around people I love sometimes.  I can’t pinpoint why that is.

I confess that I want to gather up my son and run away sometimes and never come back.  I confess that I have regrets, but that those regrets will only be actualized if D does what he might do in the next few weeks.

I confess that I am extremely emotional.  I feel very, very deeply and that is why I am bad in business because everything is personal to me.  I am easily discouraged. I am worried about the opinions and support of others.  I hate the way things go sometimes but I feel powerless to change it because I don’t want to stand up for what I believe in…it might push people away from me.

Like so many others, I don’t want to be alone.  That seems to be where my life is heading, unfortunately.  I have cried buckets in the last few days because I am a miserable, completely broken human person.

And that sucks.